so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
