No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
