Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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