I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
