I am puke
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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