brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
