In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
apparently the secret to your success is patron
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
