Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
