I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
