This dress was meant to end up on your floor
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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