You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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