The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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