Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
