Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
