...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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