garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
