One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
