if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
