that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
