Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
this boner is exhausting
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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