Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
