its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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