sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This baby is an asshole
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
