"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
