Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
