So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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