come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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