My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
