He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
