Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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