I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize