why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
