Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize