Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
