in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
