So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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