You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
