Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
