whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just google imaged poop.
My cat gives me a boner
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
