I'm really into asian looking animals
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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