Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
