And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize