But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize