I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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