Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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