I have demons in me.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
