I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
