the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
