Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wish i was in the wii world.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
