youre lurking in front of me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
