hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
