I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
