How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
