I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
