3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize