I accidentally had phone sex last night
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
