Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
