So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
this hospital has no fireball
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The Olympian is in my bed
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
