Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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