i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize