i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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