I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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