i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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