if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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