Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize