My nipple is on Facebook.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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